The Midweek Meander & Links to Loveliness
When a good friend ghosted me and what I've learnt from it, why choose a wall mural over wallpaper, fantasy breakfasts, and retro garden furniture that feels effortlessly cool. A truly joyful mix.
There’s a quiet kind of heartbreak that comes from the slow yet pervasive unravelling of a friendship. It is quite unlike the break-up with a partner; more often than not there is a distinct absence of drama, no wild raging argument or catastrophic event which sends the relationship hurtling towards spontaneous combustion. Less overtly painful, it also doesn’t quite consume us in the way a split with a sexual partner does, but can still leave us grieving what once was.
We may know why it’s happened, we’ve seen it coming and accept its fate, but sometimes there will be no rationale and no logic, leaving our minds dangerously unshackled and free to wander blindly towards an explanation that may never exist in any sort of tangible form. This is especially true when a friend ‘ghosts’ us; the sudden vanishing of a once-sold kinship feels inexplicable, unfathomable even. Confusion wrapped in a dense veil of betrayal; a history of shared vulnerability and emotional intimacy cruelly cast aside. Questions flood our psyche, a mix of shock and perplexity rampant and disorientating; why? how? What did I do wrong? But maybe, it’s really not that mystifying after all, maybe, just maybe, we’ve cloaked ourselves in a veil not of betrayal but one of denial.
Friendships have come and gone throughout my life, in the way that the natural course of friendships sometimes takes, but I have only been ghosted by a friend once. It was very sudden and at the time, completely inexplicable and pretty heartbreaking. However, looking back through the lens of someone with a little more life experience and a modicum of wisdom, I know now why it happened…