Unfiltered Thoughts & Joyful Things - Issue 23
Why I wanted to spend my birthday alone, whimsical wallpaper and folk art-inspired accessories, lovely living rooms, my thoughts on the Dubai chocolate craze, and a few words of heartfelt thanks
It’s my birthday on Friday, and this got me thinking about how very different my birthdays look now in these midlife years compared to say, my twenties. And I’m not just talking about the obvious juxtaposition of staying home (serious JOMO*) versus going out and getting tipsy (or sozzled as my lovely old Grandpa used to say) in a club, but moreover, my expectations of the day itself.
There was a time when I looked forward to an all-singing, all-dancing show-stopping display of love and adoration from friends, family and partner alike. I jest of course, I wasn’t that much of a brat (I mean, weren’t we all in our twenties to some degree?). But birthdays when you’re younger come with a lot more pressure to be seen celebrating. Now, as I teeter on the cusp of being fully initiated into my early 40s (I was just trialling it out previously, but have faced facts: there’s no turning back now my late 30s are a good few years behind me), I find myself conjuring up ways to spend my birthday completely, and entirely ALONE.
This may seem odd to some, unthinkable even. And then there will be those of you nodding, maybe a knowing smile spreading across your face. It’s a funny one, and I often feel at odds with myself, because I adore the company of people, but find myself subconsciously placing time limits on any social interactions these days. You’ve had 92 minutes and 34 seconds of me, that’s quite enough now. Byeee. Luckily, almost all of my pals are exactly the same.
A very good friend of mine, who is forever making arrangements with her various different friend groups; old uni friends, school yard acquaintances, childhood friends, was regalling me of the dates in her diary, when she suddenly said “I really cannot be bothered to do any of these things with any of these people.” Of course, what she really means is that the idea of spending time with these friends is wonderful; human beings crave social interaction after all, but when push comes to shove, being sociable is exhausting! To counter that, I do think that really quality time, spent with friends who just ‘get you’ actually recharges those batteries, rather than drains them, but it’s knowing who to give our precious time to and who not to, that’s often the tricky part.
Anyway, back to spending my birthday alone. I had this year’s all planned out; after dropping the kids off at school, I would meet my mother for a coffee and cake in the morning (she doesn’t understand why I want to spend my birthday alone and thinks it a little ‘sad’; personally, I think she’s forgotten that intense craving for solitude when you’re in the midst of career, kids, marriage, LIFE) so that she could give me my birthday card and explain to me, as is her yearly tradition, that I’m welcome to exchange her gift (with price tag still very much attached!). Then, I would take myself for a massage before having a leisurely lunch in the garden and maybe enjoy a bit of retail therapy in the afternoon, during which I would gift myself the presents I know my husband would never think of giving me. All in all, it would be a pretty perfect day, concluded with birthday cake enjoyed with my lovely little ferals, and maybe some nice flowers and a box of Hotel Chocolat from the OH.
As it turns out, this will NOT be how I spend my birthday. The aforementioned ferals break up from school that very day. My birthday, of all the days. So, there goes my massage and solitary shopping trip. But, you know what, I have a new plan, a pretty elite plan as it goes. We’re going to head to the beach with friends and spend the day lazing around on the sand (weather-permitting of course, DON’T let me down English weather for the love of everything holy). The beach in question has a fabulous little restaurant where they grill fresh seafood and bake fresh bread. It’s heavenly. And I’m really looking forward to it, even if other human beings will be present.
I’m still going to book myself that massage though. Facial or full body, that’s the question?
Interior Inspiration of the Week
Lovely living rooms. Probably my favourite space to decorate, because I think designing for comfort is easier than designing for practicality. And living rooms should invite us in, beckon us to put our feet up and compel us to stay awhile. I’ve included three of my favourites below, and they all have a few things in common; colour, art, and really very good seating.
Books, art and a commanding use of colour give this living room character and personality in abundance.
A neutral hue on the walls provides the perfect contrast for a bold pink sofa and colourful accessories, in the living room pictured below.
Joyful Things & Links to Loveliness
Whimsical wallpaper, folk art-inspired accessories and pretty placemats create a colourful concoction in this week’s moodboard. There’s a lot of clashing patterns going on here but it works because the colour palette is limited to just a few colours. (Also, top tip for mixing patterns; use one dominant pattern then complement it with designs of a different size and scale, i.e. flowers with stripes, or stripes and dots.)
Lovely things, clockwise from top: Ottilia wallpaper, by Sandberg; Oak Leaf Vase Lamp, by Cressida Bell; Thatch pouffe in Stafford Pink, by Beki Bright at Maison Flaneur; Dianthus Midnight Iron Cushion, by Molly Mahon; Gotas Placemat, beige with green, by Mariaida Home
This week I have mostly been…
Filling my face with summer fruit (I suspect I’m simply replacing sugary snacks with umm… sugary fruit!). Watermelon, kiwi and strawberries makes for the most delicious combo. Also, love this Med-inspired bowl; you can’t see it properly here but the design has a lemon in the middle of the bowl, it’s super pretty and perfect for an alfresco table setting. Also, can I just add that sitting in the sunshine with my morning coffee in ruffle-trimmed pjs is pure JOY (these ones are from Laura Ashley.)
Jumping on board the Dubai chocolate ‘hype’ and wondering what the hype really is. I think this craze must have passed me by, which isn’t surprising really as this was a TikTok trend originally, and I spend about two minutes a month on TT. Anyway, it centred around influencers raving about a ‘unique’ chocolate bar filled with pistachio cream and crunchy kataifi pastry. The chocolate is generally considered pretty pricey, but my lovely friends, I stumbled across a much cheaper version here (albeit still pricey) and I have to say, it really is delicious. But then, I am a huge pistachio cream fan.
A huge thank you and a big hello to new subscribers who’ve come along for the ride this last week or so; quite a few of you have taken out a paid subscription recently, and the wonderful messages that have come with them have honestly Made. My. Week. I am thrilled that you’re enjoying this mix-mash of stories, tales, interior inspo and lovely links.
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Wishing you all a happy and peaceful week ahead.
*JOMO (‘joy of missing out’; is there any better joy?)
I’m also a fan of jomo and love the idea of a solo birthday full of self treating!. Also those pyjamas 🥰
All lovely, Elle!